


Guy of Gisborne Drabbles

by Maxkiki



Category: Robin Hood (BBC 2006)
Genre: Drabble Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:40:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26654560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxkiki/pseuds/Maxkiki
Summary: All of my drabbles from tumblr!
Kudos: 1





	1. All I Wanted Was For You To Be Happy

Everything that he did he did for you. The moment he laid eyes on you he knew it in his heart that his life, every bit of it, belonged to you. From the moment he took breath he lived for your sake and no one else’s, not even his own.

He started with a simple introduction, as well as the gift of a red rose, praising your beauty which he held far greater than that of the flower. It was cut short by the call of duty but he did not leave without a chaste kiss on your hand, making your heart flutter.

He was the perfect man in your eyes, he fit tall, dark, and handsome to a T. He would bring gifts whenever he visited, his tired and sullen face finally relaxing and even smiling in your presence. Not the smirk he wore around the Sheriff, but a gentle smile, his eyes softening. He couldn’t come by often so he had to watch from afar but soon enough he was unhappy with the distance and invited you to live with him.

He had been nothing but a gentleman so far, you had nothing to lose, it was not a hard decision to agree. You were happy to become wed in time, and for the first few weeks, it was bliss.

He was wealthy enough that you did not need to do chores, you were well protected and showed with gifts. But you feel a part of you growing empty as you realize just how much time he spends working. Away from your family and friends, you grew lonely and so you then return to your village whenever you felt a need for some attention. Guy spent days sleeping at the castle anyways, you sent him a letter about it and he did not mind as long as you traveled with his guards.

You thought it sweet at first that he wanted to protect you but it became intruding and overwhelming having fully armed men always in sight. So you began to bribe them to let you be, and it didn’t take much since they would rather lie about back home anyway.

It was fine until one night where you are ambushed on your way home, you scream and thrash as your clothes are torn and jewelry taken. By the grace of God, the thieves are scared off as the sound of horse hooves grows closer. You look up with tear-stained cheeks, eyes widening. “Guy?”

He discounts his horse and kneels at your side. “What are you doing by yourself this late? Where are the guards?” You watch the concern in his eyes turn into flaming hatred. “I will kill whoever did this to you.”

You wrap your arms around him, nuzzling into his neck. “Can we just… go home?”

Guy is reluctant at first but he lifts you up and walks you home, letting the house servants clean you up as he departs once more in search of the thieves.

You wait hours for him, watching the moon climb higher in the sky from your bedroom window. He eventually walks in, hair sticking to his face from sweat, his chest heaving with each breath. He holds out his hand, reviewing the jewelry that had been stolen, presents from him. “Here you are, my love.”

You take them and lean up to kiss him softly. “My savior.” He smiles with relief, letting out a sigh.

“I have not slept for days, I’m afraid I must leave you to rest.” He looks at you with hopeful eyes. “Unless you care to join me of course.”

“Then you wouldn’t be able to rest would you?” You smile and give him one last kiss. “I will have a cup of tea before I turn in for the night, you go sleep.”

His eyes linger and you know he doesn’t want to leave you side but he eventually turns and steps away.

You make yourself some tea and walk towards the back door, intending to drink it outside in the cool night air until a guard steps in front of you. “You are not allowed out there.”

“I know Guy wishes to protect me but I won’t be far. I have plenty of guards around here anyway. Now move.”

“But-”

You glare. “Move if you wish to keep this job.”

They exchange glances with other guards but steps away in the end, letting you through.

You take one step outside and you drop your tea, the glass shattering as you scream at the sight before you. It was the thieves, or what was left of them.

Guy nearly jumps down the entire staircase to see what was wrong, grimacing as he sees you on the ground in shock. He scolds the guards for letting you out before kneeling beside you for the second time tonight. “They hurt you and had to be punished.”

You look at him, leaning away in fear. “But not killed! Not like… Not like this, Guy this is… This is to much.”

His face darkens as he growls, despising those who hurt you with every once of his being. “I will not let anyone hurt you again, I am leaving them behind to set an example of what will happen if someone tries.”

“But Guy-”

“This is for your own good! I will not allow you to leave the house again.” He grabs you by the wrist and pulls you inside with more force than necessary, causing you to whimper in pain.

You pull away, hurt, and scared. “No…” You shake your head. “Guy I will not stay here, I am not a pet.”

He gestures around him. “You have everything you need here, you have no reason to leave.”

“I have a family, friends that I need to see. I feel so lonely because you’re hardly ever here. I… I love you but I can’t do this right now.” You step back towards the front door. “I need a break, time to think.”

Guy reaches out to you but you run off and before he can follow he is stopped by one of the guards.

“We have received word that the Shariff requires your immediate assistance, Sir Guy.”

He looks from you to the guard, punching the doorframe in frustration before mounting his horse. “Let’s go.” He snarls at them, riding off towards the castle. He feels his heart squeeze, hoping that nothing happens to you. Maybe his sleep-deprived mind overreacted, he needed to apologize if you would accept one.

He lets out an anguished groan as he approaches the castle, rubbing his temples. “I hope I didn’t ruin everything.” He brings a hand to his neck, holding onto a necklace you had made for him, whispering to it as if it was you. “All I wanted was for you to be happy.”


	2. Guy of Gisborne Finds a Friend Part 1

In the fury of a bad day, Guy decides it is time to go on a rampage in the forest to try and find Robin again. As usual, there is nothing no matter where he searched and he kicks the ground in frustration. He winces as his toe hits a rock, sending it off into the bushes before a pained cry is heard.

The man freezes, alert once more. It did not sound like a human, but rather some sort of animal. If he was lucky maybe he injured something that could make for a fine late-night snack. As he approaches the shrubbery, he holds his sword out in front of him, pushing aside leaf and branch with it. In the setting sun and the shade of the trees, it was harder to see but when he leans close his eyes widen.

It was a dog, a border collie to be exact, possibly owned by a farmer yet it’s fur was ragged and dirty as if it has been wandering the forest all its life rather than herding sheep. It licks at a bleeding leg, probably the damage his outburst has caused. He could not help but feel bad for the creature, he had never been fond of animals but he took decent care of his horses. Maybe his love would see him in a better light if he took in a dog as well. If it was a farmers dog then too bad, it was his now.

“Let’s get you washed and patched up.” He kneels down, picking up the dog who surprisingly doesn’t protest. When he stands back up he realizes just how light they are and looks down to see the animal’s bones as if it hasn’t eaten for many days. “I will feed you too, I suppose that should go first.”

He walks home with the dog, getting confused looks from his servants. “Don’t just stare!” Guy growls, glaring icy daggers as he carries to dog with him. “Prepare a bath, I am to wash him then take my own!”

He opens the pantry and grabs some links of sausage, hand feeding them to the dog which eats eagerly, their tail wagging so hard that it thumps against Guy’s side. He cannot help but feel a smile on the edge of his lips, but it is soon gone when a housemaid tells him the baths are ready.

“I will feed you more later, bath first.” He tells the dog who wines as they leave the wonderful smelling kitchen. When taken up the stairs the dog looks around, now having a bit more energy than before. It was a large home of course, and plenty of room for a canine to run around. When they enter the bathroom, Guy sets the dog in the tub and rolls up his sleeves. The dog doesn’t fuss, allowing the man to scrub its fur. It was nice to have the itchy grime gone, although being soaked was not the best feeling either.

He wines as he licks at the cut on his leg and Guy sighs. “I’m sorry about that. I’ll bandage it in a moment.” He finishes his scrubbing, had been wanting to make sure there was no chance of fleas or disease. He pours water over the dog to rinse him off before picking him up out of the tub, setting him on the floor. Before he can grab a towel the dog shakes and he shields his face. “Hey! Stop that!” He scowls but the dog just looks up at him, wagging its tail innocently.

As he dries off the canine with a towel he wonders what he should call it. They had mostly black fur, only bits of white on its feet and stomach. He planned on training this dog for hunting rather than herding sheep so it should have a name to match. It was not on the creative side but in the end Guy looks at the dog and nods. “I will call you Hunter.” The dog tilts its head and he smiles, rubbing the dog’s fur. “You shall be my companion, I hope you will prove to be useful in my endeavors. A horse may be a fine steed but it does not have a dog’s nose or hunting sense.”

Just happy to see his new owner happy, the dog wags it’s tail, letting Guy put a bandage on its leg without a problem. “You obey well, most animals do not allow humans to touch them so freely. Especially those that are wild.”

When he finishes putting on the bandage he takes off his clothing and gets into his own bath with a sigh of relief. It had been a long day and now he had to find someone to train the dog while he was at work. Hours were unpredictable and long, sometimes he would have to stay in the castle so it leaves little to no room to train an animal. He hardly had enough free time to get decent meals and enough sleep. The only time he ate well enough was when he was invited to dine for a celebration, but even the most is cut short one way or another with Robins antics.

Guy runs his fingers through his hair, brushing it back as he glares at the wall as usual. He had far too many worries at all times, his heart heavy with the guilt of his past, it was rare he would smile, and usually it lasted but a moment. He cannot remember the last time he laughed, really laughed, not just a mocking one aimed at Robin.

As if reading his mind, Hunter jumps up so his front paws are on the edge of the tub, getting his owner’s attention quite fast. “What is it? I will feed you more later, let me bathe in peace.” The dog whines and leans forward to lick at Guy’s cheek, the man's first reaction being ‘ew-gross’ but it quickly turns into something more pleasant. “Stop.” He tries to be serious at first but the dog continues to lick, tail wagging. “Stop it!” He cannot hide his smile as he leans away from the canine who only leans in closer. “Stop it that tickles!” He tries to stifle his giggles but it’s no use. He tries to push away the dog gently but Hunter is determined to keep his master in high spirits, almost falling in the tub if Guy had not caught him.

“Now look at that, I told you to stop.” He sits up to place the dog back on the floor with a fond smile. “I think I did right in taking you in. It will be nice to come home knowing that I am wanted.” He pets the dog’s head before he quickly finishes his bath, having to push the dog back down several times in the process. Once dry and clothed for the night, he picks the dog back up to travel downstairs for a proper meal. The dog was adult-sized but he was strong enough that he could carry it with one arm, but he preferred cradling it with two.

The servants and guards are surprised by how tender he was towards the animal but none said a word. He kept on his icy glare except when he met eyes with his new companion, they were pleasant so far so they did not deserve such daggers. The dog got to eat by his side at the table, he would slip him some of his own cheese, wanting Hunter to regain his strength and have a healthy weight before beginning to train him. After both of them were satisfied, Guy carries the dog to his bedroom, allowing him to sleep on the opposing side of his bed. He did not expect to get a wife anytime soon so, for now, it can be for Hunter.

He spends a bit of time in thought, he was not the type that could just sleep as soon as his head hits the pillow. There was much work to be done, it was forever endless, and Robin insists on being an obstacle on every path. Someday he would surpass him, someday-

He is snapped out of his thoughts when he feels Hunter slump beside him, curled up in a ball as they close their eyes for sleep, their head on his lap. It was a simple gesture but it hit him hard. This dog whom he hurt, had already forgiven and now trusts him enough to sleep atop him. If only he could meet a human with such trust, but he knew that would never happen. He was a terrible man, and the sins he has committed could not be cleaned easily. Yet this innocent animal does not know, and never will know of those sins as it is far beyond their understanding.

Guy sighs shakily as he looks down at the canine with fond eyes, petting its head gently. “Thank you…” He can only hope that they will stay loyal to him because God knows he cannot handle another betrayal.


	3. Guy of Gisborne Finds a Friend Part 2

Months pass and Guy grows increasingly pleased with Hunter. In his time off he has realized that teaching them to actually hunt was easier than he first imagined. It was a predator at heart and eager to please his master so he caught rabbits and birds often. His servants were not so happy finding a corpse at the front door or in his mouth but they took it for cooking anyway.

Guy is riding home one day when Hunter takes him by surprise, had burst into the path with an impressive jump to catch a bird mid-air. As soon as the dog’s feet land he turns to Guy and their tail wags as they run up to the horse.

“Good catch boy.” Guy smiles and nods forward. “Let’s go home.” Knowing what it meant, the dog trots forward before the horse follows to escort his master home. Being so good at hunting the knight wonders if the dog was starved on purpose. Surely they could hunt well enough on their own to survive.

The unpleasant sound of a servant was heard as he put his horse in the stables, he had to stifle a laugh, knowing Hunter had presented his new catch. He peeks in the kitchen to see them de-feathering the bird and raises a brow. “Are all his catches clean enough to eat?” The servant nods. “Yes, sir. Always the neck, smart dog he is.”

“Indeed.” Guy smiles as he looks down at the dog who is lapping up water before they spot Guy and wag their tail again, wearing what looks like a big grin. “Bath time.” He says and Hunter follows him upstairs to where he was carried his first night here.

Blood was as hard to wash out of fur as it was clothing, it was the one thing he didn’t like about the dog’s hunting skills. He wishes he could have an armor of sorts made for the dog, leather was easy to wash the blood off but he assumes a dog wouldn’t like such a thing. For now, he was satisfied with a collar, bearing his crest so if Hunter is to ever get lost he hopes someone with a good heart will return him where he belongs.

Hunter seemed to enjoy baths and often attempted to join Guy in his so he usually has the servants draw one for each of them. Maybe he liked the warm water or just wanted to be more like his master. Either way the knight enjoyed the company, and would talk to him about his day. He knew the dog couldn’t possibly understand but he trusted nobody else and at least this way he knew his secrets would be kept.

When they turn in for the night, Hunter sleeps by his side as usual. Guy has been able to sleep more peacefully with the dog around and when he woke from night terrors they could sense his fear and would lie in his lap to comfort him. He felt it was more than he deserved but he appreciated the animal’s kindness nonetheless.

It is the first night where Hunter wakes first, growling in the direction of the door. Guy wakes and grabs the hilt of his sword, ready for an attack. The dog knew each servant so it had to be an intruder. He approaches the door carefully and when he opens it he sees a shadow running away, Hunter bolting after it.

Guy does his best to catch up with the dog but he whistles instead and the dog runs back, a piece of the intruder’s clothing in his mouth. He pets hunter and smiles. “Good job. You’re better than my own guards.” He rewards the dog with some fresh meat before scolding his guards, Hunter watching as he chews his treat. He didn’t understand why his master kept people around that he didn’t like, but until he was commanded to do so, he will not attack them.

Showing such talent, Guy decides to bring Hunter to the castle with him. Everyone is confused seeing him with a dog and the Sheriff especially does not.

“Guy I know you’re not the brightest candle in the room, but you are aware a mutt is following you?” He glares at the dog before continuing his paperwork. “Or have you forgotten that I’m the only one allowed to have a pet around here?”

Guy snaps his fingers and Hunter sits obediently. “I have trained him in hunting and just last night he rid my home of an intruder that illuded the guards. I can assure you he can be of use.”

The Sheriff eyes the dog again and sits back in his chair. “Then show me something more impressive than making it sit.” He thinks for a moment before calling in a guard. “Have it attack them.”

Guy didn’t like the idea of one of their own men being put to harm but it was what the Sheriff wished so he commanded it. Hunter instantly went on the attack, jaws snapping and biting at the guard who struggled to shake the dog off. They manage to get past his armor and only when the guard cries out in pain does the Sheriff seem satisfied.

“You can call it off now.” He waves the guard off as Hunter returns to his master’s side. “This mutt is more competent than men who have been trained for battle.” He grins as he stands, walking over to the dog to get a look. “I’ll let you keep is Gisborne. Just make sure it stays useful.”

Guy nods in understanding, only showing a small smile despite how much happier he was underneath. Hunter is happy to be able to follow his master rather than be left home, and in turn, Guy is in a better mood more often than not. The Sheriff yells at Guy a bit less because he’s learned it upsets Hunter and he gets himself growled at.

But one day as revenge he ‘accidentally’ drops a glass in the path the dog was walking, causing it to step on glass shards. That very moment they see a rage never seen before from Guy, his voice a loud yelling that could be heard in the whole castle. Before anyone could react or the Sheriff could make a remark he picks Hunter up to treat him.

Once they are alone in his chambers, he is careful in making sure there are no remaining shards and that it is properly disinfected. He puts on the bandages before hugging and stroking the dog. “I’m so sorry. You’ll get better I promise.” Just glad to be held by their master, Hunter licks his cheek with a soft whine.

Guy leaves the castle carrying the dog home and doesn’t return despite his orders until Hunter has healed. He would not forgive for this but he still had to work but he kept Hunter home, asking the servants to amuse him when he was gone. The Sheriff would open his mouth to scold him but decided against it when Guy glared daggers of an intensity that brought the temperature of the room down a few degrees. Work was now a bit more gloomy but he would return home to see the dog in high spirits, chasing sticks the servants threw or animals that strayed too far from the forest.

“Hunter!” Guy would call each time, a smile spreading on his face as the dog runs at him, just as excited each day. He likes to kneel down and scoop the dog into his arms, hugging him close as they wiggled from their wagging tail. They lick his cheek and he laughs, all stress from the day leaving him. He never expected he would have someone to come home to and he was glad he did. Hunter was, after all, his dearest and only family.


	4. Guy of Gisborne Finds a Friend Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoopsie doopsie I might have turned this into an xreader/oc fic lol (It’s still in Guys POV so idk what it falls under since I don’t talk about the character's appearance specifically) I know I specified Hunter as a male but because magic let’s pretend it’s whatever now. I’ll use gender-neutral terms for the rest.

Nearly a year has passed since he had found the dog, and Guy has certainly gotten used to their company. He spends less and less time attending parties and mingling with people. As much as he cared about his social status he was more fond of spending time with Hunter than anyone else. When it was first pointed out to him he began to wonder if he was simply doting on the dog too much, but upon further thought, he realized something else. Hunter acted far more like a human than he has ever seen in an animal. While they had canine-like tendencies, they had human ones too. For example, Hunter bathed regularly with Guy and responded more than well to his words. Not only did they learn tricks and commands near immediately but they listened well too. Guy often spoke to them like he would a human simply because he had no trustworthy human to talk to. During these one-sided conversations, they didn’t seem so one-sided in the end. Hunter would look at him as he spoke and do small things like roll their eyes or let out a huff at times that seemed appropriate. Guy finds himself responding to these gestures even if it can’t be considered a proper response to what he’s talking about.

Being the man of power that he is, Guy usually sends his servants out to gather household supplies but on a particularly nice day, he decides that he would like to spend the day out with Hunter. The dog loved following him no matter where it was, and they were fond of the market due to the aroma of the butcher’s shop. While he didn’t care much for shopping, he found joy in watching Hunter’s eyes glued to the links of sausage hanging. If he wasn’t so well behaved he would probably jump up and snatch it for himself. When Guy approaches the stall, Hunter’s tail wags faster the closer he gets. He hands over a coin and takes a link, tossing it to the dog who catches it with ease, chewing on his treat happily before following him to wherever he needs to go.

Guys’ reputation has changed since he has gotten the dog but he cannot tell if it is good or bad. While dog lovers see it as a good sign and children are more likely to see him as friendly, others see Hunter as an attack dog waiting to strike at any moment despite their sunshine esque attitude.

“What a lovely dog.” An old woman smiles down at Hunter who looks up with an equal grin. “Smart too.” She pets his head and Guy blinks in surprise. Nobody has pet Hunter before without asking, even if they didn’t fear the dog they were wary of how it was trained.

“He is indeed.” The raven-haired man says as he crosses his arms naturally, unsure what else to say. He wasn’t looking for conversation anyways.

The woman chuckles as she rubs the dog’s head. “As smart as a person one would say. Seems like they got stuck this way.”

Her words were certainly unsettling and a bit strange to say without prior knowledge of the dog. Maybe she was talking about reincarnation or something. “They are perfectly fine the way they are.”

She nods with what looks to be a gentle smile but her eyes glint mischievously. “That may be true. But it is possible they wish to do more for their master than follow and do tricks.”

Hunter calms down or rather becomes uncomfortable with this woman’s words as if he knew exactly what it all meant. Guy picks up on this, and while he doesn’t try and find an explanation he knows the dog is in distress even if only a little. As usual, he acts on his emotions and slings his shopping bag over his shoulder before scooping up Hunter in his arms.

“They do much more than that. I am not acquainted with you and have no obligation to hear your nonsense.” Guy turns without any semblance of goodbye and the woman reaches out, touching Hunter’s nose. She speaks in a tongue that Guy does not recognize and normally he would interrogate something so suspicious but he just wanted to get home and away from other human beings.

Once home, the rest of the day goes by as it always does and the old woman becomes a strange memory. Guy lies in bed, reading a novel he picked up as Hunter lies next to him, already asleep. He glances over at the dog sleeping soundly and decides it is time he turns in for the night.

When morning arises, there is an unexpected weight on his torso. Of course, it had to be Hunter but normally the dog wasn’t this heavy. Guy rolls off the bed to escape the weight, standing tiredly as he blinks the drowsiness from his eyes. Once his vision is in focus his brows shoot up in surprise as he finds a human in his bed.

Immediately he searches his brain for answers but he is certain he didn’t drink last night now let anybody in.

Since they were still asleep and virtually harmless, the knight steps forward for a closer look. He squints in focus but does not recognize them. His eyes go back to being wide when the stranger opens their eyes, smiling a bright sunshine smile before closing the gap between them to lick his cheek.

Guy is stuck between disgust and shock when this happens, his eyes drifting down to the familiar collar on their neck. A realization hits him and it is followed by sheer confusion. The person sits up in bed, tilting their head as they watch a range of emotions all pass Guys face, however his brows stay knit together giving his face a sort of scowl all throughout.

“Are you… Hunter?” Guy asks carefully.

“Of course!” They respond eagerly and in that second where they hear their own voice their face goes through what Guys just did. They pat themselves down and eventually decide to cover up with the bedsheets. They look at Guy in both fear and horror. While they were close when they were a dog, this changes everything. Not only where they unintentionally lying about their identity but their existence confirmed that magic of some sort truly existed in this world. People hang and burn witches and this could fall under the same guidelines.

Not wanting to be killed Hunter speaks in nearly a whisper. “Please don’t kill me… I’m not a witch, I promise!”

Guy crosses his arms and glares in full interrogation mode. “They what the bloody hell are you?”

Hunter shrugs. “A werewolf but instead a dog and that I can’t control it and I don’t know how it happened in the first place. I’m on the same page as you.”

“But you were human first?”

They nod. “I turned when I was around 19 and have been stuck like this since. I should be… 27 now? 32? I’m not really sure.”

Guy squints his eyes in suspension. “Then why the hell did you act like a pet? To take advantage of me?”

They put their hands up in defense. “Instinct I swear! You’ve done so much for me I would never do that.” Their eyes lower and shoulders sink. “Haven’t I earned your trust?”

“You did until you turned into a person!” Guy snaps.

Hunters’ eyes tear and they lie down to curl in bed. “S'not my fault…” They sulk and Guy sighs, knowing that he shouldn’t speak so harshly. He was surprised and confused and being emotional of any kind always led to uncalled for anger on his part.

Grabbing his clothes for the day he throws some onto the bed. “Wear my clothes, for now, I have to work so we’ll discuss where to go from here over dinner. Until then stay out of sight.”

“What about food?” Hunter peeks from between the covers as one arm slithers out to grab the clothes.

“I’ll tell the servants to leave food outside the door for you.” He says before grabbing his sword belt and leaving.

Guy spends most of the horse ride over to the castle thinking. At first, he wishes the person stayed stuck as a dog because he could do things he couldn’t with a human. All of the joys of giving a dog belly rubs and wresting over a bone were now gone. Animals are innocent and dogs are especially loyal, things that Guy needed more than anything in his life. Now that they were human he cannot help but worry they were going to reveal all of his secrets.

For the first time in his life, he felt far more vulnerable than he ever has. Even his first love didn’t know him this well, as much as he tried to show her, she didn’t care for him. He had to either keep them locked away in his home or kill them. As much as the thought of killing something he’s grown to love dearly, the idea of trusting them didn’t pass his mind in the slightest. He cannot trust humans, every time he has resulted in betrayal. He will not be betrayed again.


	5. Why Are Your Eyes So Red?

Guy has gone through so much, and he can hardly remember a time where he was truly happy for more than a few moments. Ever since he was a child he grew more and more convinced that he was living in hell. Nobody saw him in a good light no matter how hard he tried to be good. He was just so bad at it. The fact that nobody gave him a chance didn’t help either.

Every time he regained a spread of hope, every time he felt the slightest warmth stir in his heart again, it was taken as soon as it arrived. He didn’t want to trust, he didn’t truly trust anybody but time and time again he is forced into a situation where he has to. Or at least he tells himself that so he doesn’t seem so desperate for a companion that he will trust those who even tried to kill him. Only one person he’s ever met truly trusted him and died for it at the hands of his own sister.

It seemed only animals were loyal but it is to whoever feeds them. He doesn’t doubt for a second that his noble steed would leave if someone else were to give it that chance. He didn’t have the time to take in a pet or raise livestock, if he wasn’t working he was desperately trying to get to sleep. More often than not he didn’t get a wink, and for various reasons.

Some nights it was pure guilt of all the unspeakable things he has done following orders or out of spite, just because he could. Others it was the loneliness, the unbearable pain that not a single living soul would dare be his friend let alone a candidate for marriage. A lot of the time it was a mix of memories that plagued his mind like a never-ending nightmare.

Despite bragging about what he has, his home, his status, his wealth, it meant nothing to him. He had nothing of true value, for it was worthless without someone to share it with. If given the chance he would trade it all to have a partner to love, if that was too much, having a single true friend would be plenty.

He just felt so worthless and the constant scolding from higher-ups didn’t help. Nothing he did ever seemed right, nothing he said ever contributed to anything, nobody would pay even a penny for his thoughts. He was practically already a ghost, just going through the motions of being alive.

All of it piled a heavy mountain upon his back, the worst thoughts of all that spread through his body like the plague.

The self-hatred.

He wears a facade so full of cracks that he desperately keeps glued together to the point it stuck to his face from the sheer amount of adhesive used. Despite standing tall he wants nothing more than to cower and hide. He can hardly look at himself in the mirror long enough to shave. Other times he can’t tear his eyes away, searching for a sign of life in his eyes only for dull orbs to look back at him.

Like most, he keeps it bottled up and does nothing about it. But there are times where he can’t bear his own existence that he lashes out. To others, it is a fit of rage where he breaks things to quell his anger. In reality, he is punishing himself, the bruises and cuts he gives himself from breaking glass, kicking stone, and punching metal make him feel better. In some twisted way, he believes he deserves it, and knowing he has been properly punished satisfies that part of his mind and he is yet again able to bare living with himself.

Other times he gets wasted, drinking half his alcohol reserves in a single night. It doesn’t make him feel any better but it finds ways to distract his mind. He would rather drunkenly take a bath with a dining chair then dwell on his usual thoughts.

But sometimes even a tub’s worth of alcohol cannot chase away such thoughts. And it is those times where he sends the servants home and has all guards leave for the castle. Because it is those nights where he cannot bear to keep himself together and finally allows himself to break down. He collapses, he curls in a ball, he claws at his chest and is desperate for breath. He sobs for hours, tears running dry as his hair sticks to his face. He cries out in pain, his throat torn raw with his howls. He wears himself down to quiet cries, nothing but air being forced out of his lungs as his whole frame shakes. Even this he does until he cannot anymore. Sometimes he will pass out like this, going back to his facade in the morning like nothing is or ever was wrong. But other times he will stay awake and clean himself up.

He rubs his face and washes his hair of tears, looking at himself in the mirror with only the light of the moon. His eyes burn, they are puffy and red along with his nose and cheeks.

He laughs a raspy, dry laugh and says it because nobody else will care let alone have such a concern for someone like him. “Why are your eyes so red?” He knows why, yet he doesn’t have the heart to comfort himself nor does he believe he deserves it. So he only asks himself why he is suffering because he can only dwell on the reasons, for he knew he would never find solace.


	6. Patiently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of a poem than a drabble sort of?

I will wait for you, my love. It is only you whom I need, for you are the reason I still take breath and my heart still beats. I may not be immortal, but I will take care of myself in your steed to live another day, another year, another decade to see you again. It is not easy to live without you, it is a pain I must endure because I cannot get to heaven without going through hell. The things I would do to see you again, to hear your voice, to be blessed by your touch, I dare not say. While I travel many miles in search of you, I have found no sign. I do not know which direction you have gone or where your destination may be. I do not know why you are traveling or if you even have a place to go. I do not know if you are alone or with friendly company, if you are in trouble or if you have been taken. I do not know if you are still alive or if you still love me.

I was only left with a letter with a single word, written by your hand, saying “Goodbye”. I have been good to you, my dear. I have been loyal and showered you with gifts. I provide a home with servants and protection, I myself can fend off any who try to harm you. Only you tasted my cooking, has seen me at my weakest, has heard my loving words, has felt my gentle hand, has been close enough to smell my cologne. It is only you in my eyes, my mind, my heart, and my soul and it always will be

I cannot hate you, I cannot resent you, I cannot see you in a bad light. I have been betrayed many times and this would only add to my count but I do not tally it as so. You are the only one so I cannot bear to see betray me. I will not conjure up lies and untruthful stories to resent you for leaving.

While I do not love myself, I know that you certainly did and you did not hesitate to remind me whenever possible. You never showed any reason to be doubted and therefore I shall not doubt you. I will not doubt your feelings for me, I will not doubt your true heart full of love. I will not doubt our nights of passion and our evenings by the water. I will not doubt your words to me. The promises we have made to each other. I will forever remember those promises. The promises to stay together until the end of our time, for better or for worse, for rich or for poorer, in sickness and in health. I will not turn my back on you, I will not disregard my vows.

I will have faith in you always, and a lifetime I shall wait. If I am blessed to be in heaven, I will wait for you there. If I am to be reborn again I will find you again. If I am damned to hell I will dig my way out to find you. No rope, no chain, no wall will stop me. Nor death, no demon, no angel, nor God himself. I will be with you again.

Until death takes me, I will wait here for you, my love. I will wait for you ever so patiently.


End file.
